I was going to write up a post I’ve been planning- A Critical Analysis of “Chopped” on the Food Network, but I want to take this moment instead to put into writing my thoughts of the day.
When I think about all the things I have going for me, I can’t help but feel pretty awesome. My life is not perfect, and I will be the first to tell you: I am not perfect. I have, like, 18 million flaws. (I’ve learned they become immediately less off-putting if you call them “quirks”). But, despite my many shortcomings, I still have an awesome husband who loves me bunches and has my back and makes me snort with laughter. Said husband and I are in the process of cooking a baby (as in I’m pregnant, not a cannibal), which is kinda gross and uncomfortable, but still pretty awesome. Also, I have two wonderful puppy dogs that can bring me so much joy even with the slightest wiggle of their nubs (their breed is a nub one, not a tail one).
I am so grateful for all these things that have come to me during my years. You know what else I’m grateful for? The fact that my best friend, greatest confidante, and biggest role model in life is my big sis, Matilda.
A lot of people don’t like their families, and you can’t really blame them. Some families are absolute shit! My sister isn’t my best friend because she’s my sister. She’s my best friend because she’s fucking awesome! The fact that she’s my sister is just a huge bonus.
Maybe we have a more special bond because we have similarities, or grew up with so many of the same experiences. But we are also very different. She has patience and self-control where I have impulsive irritability. She has a sensitive digestive system whereas I have the intestinal fortitude of a monster truck. She can be more reserved while I am jumping headfirst off the cliffs of uncertainty. The fact is, when I have lacked confidence in myself, my sister has always been there to make me feel genuinely good about myself. Not by coating over things with saccharine platitudes, but by giving me real perspective. She also calls me on my shit if I’m acting ridiculous. No one else (excepting my husband) does that.
Watching my sister with her children is probably when I feel most proud of her. She is such an attentive, engaged, loving, and fun mother to her kids. Those kids just have no idea how lucky they are (granted, the oldest is 5 so they’ll figure it out one day). She is cautious and thoughtful with her children and yet relaxed, not overbearing, not anxiety-ridden. All I can do is hope I will be half the mother she is.
my sister is brilliant. She has a thousand degrees. But she doesn’t make me feel inferior to her and never has, even when I had zero direction in my life and was, by all appearances and according to my mother, a total screw-up. Matty still believed in me. She protected me when we were kids, and she still does today.
As a side note, she and her husband and their children are the only ones in my family who have made my husband feel loved and respected by my family. The rest either never took the time to get to know him, or judged him (and me) based on his career choice. Not cool. Most of my marriage I’ve felt embarrassed by some of the bad behavior my husband has seen from my family. But I rub the awesomeness of my sister and her fam in his face! And he’s all, “I get it! They’re awesome!! Stop it now!” And I’m like, daaaaaamn straight. Matilda is an exceptional person, and the fact that I get to be her sister makes me so happy.
Why all the sappy outpouring? Because, I think it’s important to let people know what they mean to you. And because the fact that we’re sisters can mean that we’re expected to be close or have a decent relationship. But I know that my sister means so much to me because of the person she is, not because we have the same parents. I’m sure this isn’t interesting to anyone who doesn’t know us, but I don’t give a damn, this is for my sister! I’m so proud of you, Matilda, and I’m really happy and grateful that you are my sister. Thanks for everything you do and all you put up with. Can’t wait to see you live and in person again. I love you!